Rest.
Is it possible to miss (while only slightly) the exhaustion that accompanies being a cancer patient and the unwavering readiness for others to allow that person to just sleep? Gone are the days when a simple "I'm tired" meant crashing on a bed or the couch and not being bothered for however long it took to recoup. Ah the simple life! If only the intense pain and fear of not waking up didn't accompany that sleepiness and life would have been set. Now the phone, the washer and dryer, the parents, the boyfriend, the tv shows I am addicted to watching - all keep me from that much missed sleep. Will there ever be a time again when sleep without guilt or fear of missing some part of life will be the normal? Not a clue here. Until then, one must keep expensive concealing cream in supply to cover those damn bags under the eyes!
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